Domestic Abuse (Man vs. Woman)

As an anger management coach and a mental health practitioner I have a weekly opportunity to meet with people who are experiencing great success as well as people who are experiencing difficulties in their lives.  More often than not, some of these people are experiencing both.  Within the group of people I work with, many of them are aggressive, violent, and potentially violent men (and women).  One of the aspects of domestic abuse (or intimate partner violence) sometimes addressed but rarely discussed is the physical sovereignty of men vs. the mental/verbal/spiritual sovereignty of women.  What do you mean by that coach, Shawn?  Great question!!  I have noticed that a robust amount of women (who I work with) have stronger verbal and linguistic abilities than their spouses/partners.  These women also have strong spirits and are very intelligent regarding their interaction with men.  This combination of intrapersonal and interpersonal skills creates a daunting opponent that some men find hard to deal with. For example, in a situation or interaction where a woman is able to outwit a man with her mental and verbal weaponry and use her spiritual presence in a way that causes him to feel less of a man, what does he find as his only means to win the battle?...his physical sovereignty.  It is almost an act of desperation, like a conquered opponent who smells defeat coming but refuses to give in to an enemy in which he believes is inferior to himself. 

I was the director of a family support center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and I recall having a conversation with one of my former superiors (who we will call Mrs. S) about this and she said: 

"I was always surprised how my ex-husband just gave in and gave up in trying to make his point when having an intelligent conversation with me.  I knew just what to say to get him to throw in the towel...Sometimes I knew my position was wrong but because I knew I could get over on him in discussion, I pressed the issue until he gave me what I wanted."  

I understand that this is a manipulative tactic of Mrs. S but it goes to show that there are some men who are not as equipped mentally, verbally, and spiritually as women.  So, again, when they are confronted or forced to deal with these types of powerful women, some do like her ex-husband and give in, but some also do like some of the people I work with and literally fight back with their fists.  

Ok?...And?...What is the answer coach Shawn?  What do I do about my girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife?  What is the BEST way to deal with my situation?... Well, I once listened to an audio book in which Dr. David Schwartz said that, "There is no one best way to do anything.  There are as many best ways as there are creative minds."  If you are in a situation that involves anger, rage, and emotional distress that leads to exacerbated problems, please visit www.PerspectVe.com.  We have great self-help products here for you to purchase that will enhance your ability to better deal with your situation.  To increase your emotional intelligence skills, and quality of your relationship life, feel free to call me at (412)592-2291 to schedule a phone consultation. Remember that the calmer you are, the clearer you will think, and the clearer you think...the better decisions you will make. 

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© January 04, 2015 PerspectVe LLC